April 4, 2015

Haters Gonna Hate

Dear readers, as you know R.F.H.Q is usually awash with positivity - so peppy you could puke. But even we have our limits and unless you are criminally insane, it is impossible to be happy about everything all of the time. Fact. So here follows a list of just some of the things that we just cannot stomach.

Denim Jackets
Hate, when it is at its most potent and therefore most dangerous, is entirely unreasonable. This is the type of hatred that I have for denim jackets. It is akin to that harboured by Draco Malfoy for Harry Potter. Even Morgan Freeman, with his velvet, soothing voice could say nothing to quash my feelings of disgust; It flies in the face of reason and smashes good sense in the face. It doesn't matter how many girls I see looking awesome, or how many outfits I see being enhanced by the addition of a denim jacket. This is a phobia that has stood the test of time. Regardless of whether they are on trend, there is no way that I will have anything to do with one. If you don't have your principles, then you don't have anything.



If you absolutely must, then at least make it oversized



Lip Gloss
Admittedly this is less of a problem since we both chopped our locks off,  but is there a sensation more unpleasant than your hair sticking to your shiny, shiny lips? Answers on a postcard please. We will not be accepting entries from anyone who has suffered real hardship. Obvs. 

At least Rihanna's Viva Glam lipglass comes with the happy feeling of money going to charity. 




Harem Pants
“Oh, harem pants, they’re innocuous enough,” we hear you say and yeah okay, it’s true, MC Hammer will be forever cool. But boy oh boy, do those trousers look terrible on us. Back in Japan when we are at the height of self-loathing and absolutely desperate to be Asian – it’s fine though now guys, don’t feel sad, we have fully embraced our Halfricaness - we would sit together longing for longer torsos. That’s what harem pants did to us, they made us want shorter legs. Think about that for just one moment. These trousers with a dropped crotch, which effectively make you look as though you have shat yourself, gave us low self-esteem.  Still think they’re harmless? 

We imagine this Rick Owens pair might be quite nice to do a spot of yoga in.  


Corduroy

In our humble opinion, touching corduroy is equivalent to hearing nails scratching on a chalkboard. Unbelievably unbreathable, uncomfortably stiff, and ferociously fuzz-attracting -- why would you want to adorn your mortal vessel in such an irritating fabric? Life's too short for corduroy, honey.

Like a spoonful of sugar, this lovable 70s inspired a-line skirt from Topshop helps the corduroy go down.  


Butterfly Print 
Actually make that, butterfly tattoos and butterfly jewellery as well. The only thing that we want to see a showboating moth on, is a flower. No exceptions. Yeah, we really have nothing remotely tolerable for that one. 


What brings out your fashion-based hater? Vent to us in the comments! 
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